I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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