Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
two words: eviction party
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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