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It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
