I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
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So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
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Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
there is glitter all over my balls
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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