This girl is more easily done than said...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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