Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
