Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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