She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
