I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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