sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize