My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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