woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize