I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
