Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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