i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
