her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
