I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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