there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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