i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
