Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize