i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
