My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
