Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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