the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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