first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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