know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
