You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
