She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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