Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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