Jerry, you need to find god
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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