Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
