and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
