Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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