69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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