yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
