Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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