I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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