You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
