The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
