he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
