so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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