Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
bring money and cleavage
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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