How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
