you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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