There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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