Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
