Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
