Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am naked and annoyed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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