margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
