We tried having a conversation with our noses.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
