I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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