Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
