just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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