this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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