Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize