the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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