Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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