As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
