is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
